The reason for this blog

Our God is so amazing!
One year ago I was living in a pit of despair and darkness so black that suicide seemed the only answer. I was utterly hopeless and filled with such despair that no amount of Bible studies, sermons, books could reach the place where I lived. The only thing that stopped me from taking my life was the faces of my grandchildren, especially my two beautiful granddaughters. I didn't love myself enough to keep living but I loved them enough not to saddle them with the legacy of their Sassy (as they call me) ending her life by her own hands. I remember that day so clearly because it would have been so easy to slip into the darkness forever, to stop fighting, to let my mind go blank, to have the pain, fear, nightmares, voices finally stop. My choice to not give in to the darkness, I believe, was the starting point that God used to begin the process of revealing truth to me about my past and then walking me up the mountain on which I would find His Truth which led to healing and restoration.
For almost a year I have been walking up that mountain, digging up lie after lie, planted in a child's tender heart at an early age by distant, unloving parents, a sexually abusive uncle, and numerous other people over the years who added further injuries to an already damaged heart. As each lie was revealed, God would ask me to release it to Him so He could replace it with His Truth. I described this process of digging up the lies to a friend as feeling strangely like ripping off your own skin. It was an extremely a painful, disorienting, lonely, frightening process but I was never alone or forgotten. My Jesus was with me on every step up that mountain. When I couldn't go on, He carried me or waited patiently for me to regain strength to begin the climb again. I am summiting that mountain now and the view from the top is breathtaking. The feeling of freedom and liberty is like nothing I could have imagined.
Although this journey has been the hardest things I have ever done and the price has been more than I ever thought I would have to pay, I can say with total absolute conviction that every painful step, every lie revealed and released, every loss I had to mourn, every dream that died was all rubbish in comparison to my new view of life from lap of my Heavenly Father and the reality of who and whose I am.
God was so good to speak so loudly and clearly to me before and during my journey. Much of my healing happened during my quiet times while journaling with Him. I believe God wants to use my story of pain and suffering transformed into joy and peace to reach others trapped in their own pits of darkness and despair and to nudge them in the direction of healing, right into the arms of Abba. Isaiah 61 is as true for those of us who dwell in pits as it was for the Israelites:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
Because the Lord has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners:
To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To grant those who mourn in Zion,
Giving them a garland instead of ashes,
The oil of gladness instead of mourning,
The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.
So they will be called oaks of righteousness
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3

God is pursuing you for release from your prison, whatever it is. Will you allow Him to set you free?